I alone love you
by Darkmilenia
Summary: Ghost visits a bar with his teammates, where he knew he would meet her again. He reminisces about his past and learns that a mask is not helping to hide from loved ones. He also discovers that she is not the only one who s waiting for him. One very long one-shot.


„_Simon! Wait!" She yelled as she tried to catch up with him._

_However, the seventeen year old just kept on walking and didn´t response to her. He was too angry to listen to her. This evening didn´t turn exactly the way he had planned it. All he wanted to do was to spend a good time with her and tell her how he really felt about her and what was she doing? She was flirting to another young man. How could she not notice that he wanted to be more than just friends? He heard her scream his name one more time and heard her footsteps coming closer. He knew there was no way he would get out of this situation without talking to her. He turned around the next corner and slowed his speed, giving her the chance to catch up with him._

"_Simon! What´s wrong with you? Why did you just storm out?" She asked out of breath. Dam, her best friend was really fast if he wanted to. The sixteen year old girl stopped for a sec and waited for an answer but Simon just smiled weakly and kept on walking. Rolling her eyes she slowly started to walk again._

_Both were walking in silence for a while the only noises they heard were the fainting music that came out of the disco they had been five minutes ago and some crickets which were chirring. Somehow disappointed that her best friend wasn´t talking to her she turned her gaze towards the river that was flowing beside her. Immediately she thought about the first time she met the young man, it was there, by the handrail that framed the shore. She remembered how angry he was, how he cried and told her about his father, how she grabbed his hand and let him away from the river, he wanted to end his life in it. How she took him home with her and let him stay for the night, how they were talking about their future. How her dad asked him ridiculous questions about his intends with his daughter. How Simon and her brother were discussing about some kind of music, how cute he looked as she woke him up the other day._

_All this memories made her smile, it was the best day of her life. If she hadn´t went out that night, she never would have met him. She recognized that Simon was slowing down once more and before she knew what was happening, he grabbed her by her hand and let her to one bench to sit down with him. Wondering why he had stopped and sat down, she examined him and recognized that he got nervous. He shifted uncomfortable on his spot and looked down at his hands. She raised an eye-brow and reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, to make him look at her._

"_Simon? Would you now please tell me why you stormed out? Is something wrong? If you don´t like it there why don´t you tell me? We could have done something else." She asked him and smiled as he looked at her._

_Unsure what he should say he let out a sigh and closed his eyes. Should he tell her how much he liked her? What if she didn´t share his feelings? Would it ruin their friendship? He was afraid about her reaction but he had to tell her. He needed to know if she loved him too. He took a deep breath and with a shaking hand he reached up to her cheek and stroke it softly. Surprised about his movement she stared at him with big eyes._

"_Simon?" She asked one more time and he returned his hand from her cheek and turned his gaze towards the night sky._

"_Why did you do this?" He suddenly asked._

"_What do you mean?" She asked him surprised, she really didn´t know what he was talking about._

"_Drink with this guy." He finally blurted out and closed his eyes._

"_What? Simon, he asked me if he could buy me a drink and I said yes. Why is this a problem for you?" She asked him confused and waited for him to give her a good answer but he kept his mouth shut and didn´t response._

"_Simon! Talk to me. Why is this a problem?" She asked him once more and shook her head in disbelief. _

"_Fine, if you don´t talk to me I´m leaving. You can call me tomorrow if you want to talk. Maybe you have calmed down then." She told him, disappointed about his stubbornness and stood up from the bench, to make her way back home. _

_She had made a few steps as she heard him call her name. Sighing she stopped walking but didn´t turn around. What has gotten into him? Was he really just angry because she drank with this guy? She didn´t even knew him, he just spend her a drink. Impatient she waited for Simon to approach her and as he stepped around to face her she crossed her arms and waited for him to explain his weird behavior. Simon opened his mouth but no words came out. He really didn´t know what to tell her. He never talked about his feelings, not with a girl. Sure, he was talking to his mum but this was different. She wasn´t part of his family; he could lose her. He took one more deep breath and looked down to his feet. He mumbled some words but she couldn´t understand them. _

"_I didn´t hear you Simon." She told him calmly and tried to smile, to ease the situation. Unsure Simon looked up to her and repeated what he had said._

"_I love you."_

* * *

"I love you sir, I really do." Roach bubbled obviously drunk into Ghost´s ear.

Disgust about the Sergeant´s behavior Ghost turned away from him and growled. Why did he have to deal with all this? Sure, they were off duty, they could enjoy their free time, but Ghost didn´t understand why his teammates had to get drunk in the middle of a day. He knew it was a bad idea to go with them to the bar but he needed to come here and take a look at her. He felt somehow ashamed that he had to watch her but this was his only chance to get close to her one last time. He knew she was working here and he knew her shift would begin soon, but he would just sit here and watch her. It was the best for the two of them.

"Aye Ghost! What´s with your mask?" Ghost heard his Captain yell at him and as Ghost looked up he got greeted from a smiling face. Ghost sighed, his Captain was drunk as well.

"I told you before Tav, I´m wearing this ´cause that´s what I am." Ghost answered annoyed as he watched his Captain sit down next to him.

"Sure, sure. I know you´re a Ghost but don´t you think you scare the people around you? Won´t you hook up with a beautiful girl?" The Captain continued and turned his gaze to a table, where three young girls were sitting. He winked at them and raised his hand to greet them and as an answer the girls giggled and watched him amused.

"I think I´d have better chances than you have, even with the mask." Ghost answered and shook his head.

"Want to bet?" MacTavish asked with a challenging grin and took a sip from his beer.

"No, thanks." Ghost said calmly and started to stare to the front door of the bar.

"Well, excuse me then, there are some girls who want to get my attention." MacTavish told him and with a big smile across his face he stumbled towards the girls.

Amused how clumsy his Captain acted Ghost shook his head and smiled. For a grown up man, his friend sometimes acted like a little school boy. Ghost took a look around to check on his other teammates and noticed that all of them were having a good time. Meat and Royce were playing darts, Archer, Toad and some others were sitting on a table and played cards and Roach was standing on the juke box and tried to find a single song he knew. Ghost watched him a while, till he heard the little bell that signaled that someone had entered the front door. Ghost turned his attention back to the door and for a second his heart stopped; she had arrived.

Ghost couldn´t help but stare at her, how he had missed her. Her presence alone made his heart sped up and he wished nothing more than just go to her and hold her in his arms. But he knew he wouldn´t do it, he couldn´t talk to her, he couldn´t hurt her any more. He heard her laugh and admitted that it was the most beautiful he ever heard. He examined her and recognized how good she was looking. Her long dark hair was bonded into a ponytail, her blue eyes beamed with joy and her smile made him fell like he would melt away soon. He couldn´t help but stare at her lips, the lips he had kissed so long ago. He wished more than ever to kiss this lips again, to feel her near him, to tell her that he still loved her.

Ghost snapped out of his trance as she started to move into his direction. Nervous he felt little drops of sweat form on his forehead; would she come and talk to him? Did she know it was him? How could she, he was wearing his mask. He swallowed as she approached his table and smiled at him. What should he do? Nervous he thought about standing up and run away but his legs didn´t move. He cursed silently and tried not to look at her as her face was inches away from his but he failed, he had to look her in the eyes. Ghost felt the sweat dripping down his forehead and he hoped more than ever that this was just a dream.

"You want some more?" He heard her soft voice and turned his attention down to his empty bottle of beer which stood on the table in front of him. He turned his gaze from the bottle up into her eyes again and nodded.

She showed him one last smile, grabbed his bottle and turned around. She disappeared behind the counter and came back seconds later with a new bottle in her hands. She slowly walked to his table again, put the bottle in front of him and left him again, a smile still spread on her face. As she walked away he took the bottle of beer to take a sip, his eyes still on her. He watched her walking to the table his Captain was sitting with the three young girls. She talked to them and grabbed their empty bottles to bring them more drinks. As she passed Ghost´s table she mumbled some words and shook her head.

"I tell you girls. I love to be in charge but if you want to show me otherwise I´m down f or it." MacTavish said and grinned as the three girls started to chuckle.

"It´s true why don´t we leave this bar and go to my hotel room." He stated and wrapped his arms around the girl's shoulders. "We could have fun all together."

The girls chuckled again and Soap grinned even wider. At the end of the day at least one of these girls would go back with him, he was sure about that. Soap took a look around and caught Ghost as he was looking at him. Not knowing what look his partner shot him, he winked at him and showed him a thumbs up, which made Ghost shook his head and turn his attention back to her. Soap followed his friends gaze and smiled as he recognized his second in command was staring at the waitress. Soap, the good friend he is, removed his arms from the girls' shoulders and cleared his throat. He waited till the waitress came back to his table, which she did immediately, and as she put their drinks down, he leaned forward and whispered her something in the ear.

She just chuckled and took a quick look at Ghost, who seemed to turn his head away from her. She knew he was watching her the whole time she was here but she wouldn´t say a word to him. Why should she? He wore this ridiculous mask for a reason and the reason sure was not to make any contact with others. With a sigh she smiled at the Captain once more and left the table again. She had to work, she had no time to care about what the Captain had told her.

Ghost looked at MacTavish and clenched his fist angry. Why couldn´t his Captain just keep his mouth shot? He would ruin all of this. Ghost thought about leaving the bar and just head back to his hotel room but as he was about to empty his bottle, he heard a song which once more brought the memory of her back.

* * *

"_Happy birthday babe!" She said cheerfully and kissed him. _

_Simon smiled at her as he let her into his house and took her jacket. They´ve been together for half a year now and he loved her every day more. He remembered as he told her he loved her, as she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. He wouldn´t ever forget this day, first it felt like a dream but as he met her the next day and she welcomed him with a kiss, he knew that this was real. _

"_How you´re feeling? Eighteen years now. You´re getting old." She teased and smacked him on the arm. _

_Simon just kept on smiling and followed her into the living room, where his mum and his brother already were waiting for her. Happy she greeted both of them and took a seat on the couch next to Simon´s little brother. Without asking she took one of the muffins his mother had backed and took a bite, telling his mum how wonderful they tasted. Simon´s mum just smiled at her and asked Simon to finally open his presents. Excited Simon took the seat next to his girlfriend and took the first present in his hands. It was wrapped in blue with a green bow on it. Carefully Simon dissolved the sticky tape and unpacked his present. It was the brand new CD of one of his favorite bands. Lucky he thanked his little brother for his gift and took the next one to open it. It was a dark sweater with a skull on it, the present of his mum. He smiled at her and gave her a hug, which his mum replied with a kiss on his cheek. Simon sat down again and took the last present in his hands, a little box wrapped in yellow paper. Curious he unpacked it and opened the black box, which was underneath the paper. With big eyes he examined the necklace, his girlfriend has bought for him. On the little silver-pendant were his name and hers and around them was a heart. He turned the pendant around and saw the date they got together engraved. _

"_Like it?" She asked him curious and he just nodded._

"_I love it." He answered and kissed her before he put the necklace around his neck. _

_She showed him a big smile and took another bite from her muffin. Simon shook his head lightly and also took a muffin to take a bite._

_The four of them were sitting in the living room the rest of the day, talked and played some sorts of card games till it was time to go to sleep. For the first time in their relationship Simon´s girlfriend stayed with him for the night. Both were in his bedroom and listened to the CD he had gotten from his brother, whilst they were lying in bed. Simon had closed his eyes and stroke her head, which was resting on his chest. She had flung her arms around his waist and enjoyed his fingers moving down her head to her back._

"_I love you." He told her and kissed her forehead._

"_I love you too." She answered and lifted her head to look him in the eyes. _

_They stared at each other for a while before Simon gently put his left hand to her cheek and stroke her soft skin. Therefore she smiled at him and he could see something in her eyes that he had never seen before. He noticed that she bit her lower lip and that her eyes were wandering down his body. Slowly he let his hand slip from her cheek down her arm and rested it at her waist. He moved closer to her, not ending the eye-contact with her and gently he kissed her on the lips. Surprised Simon noticed that she moved her hands down from his chest to the rim of his pants. He broke the kiss and stared at her with eyes wide open. Shocked about his reaction she removed her hands and looked away from him ashamed._

"_I´m sorry Simon. I didn´t want to…" She began but was cut off by Simon´s lips as he gave her another kiss._

"_It´s okay. It really is." He told her and kissed her again, this time more claiming. _

_She smiled into the kiss and opened her mouth slightly as she felt Simon´s tongue begging for entrance. First they careful examined each other's mouths but after a while Simon took the control and to his pleasure she moaned quietly. His left hand which was resting on her waist slowly wandered up her back and with a precise move he opened her bra. His hand wandered down her back again and towards her jeans to open the button. He fumbled a few times with the tiny object till it opened and Simon could open her zipper. He wanted to pull down her jeans as suddenly she flipped over and positioned herself on top of her, never breaking the kiss. She lay one of her hands around his neck and with the other one she moved down his chest to the rim of his pants. _

_Simon took a deep breath as he felt her fingers touching his tip. She stopped to kiss him and smiled as she took his left hand in hers and slipped it under her shirt. He knitted his eye-brows in surprise, not knowing what he should do, should he move his hand? She must have recognized how insecure he was ´cause she rolled her eyes playfully and removed his hand from inside Simon´s pants. Disappointed he wanted to protest but as she took her shirt and her bra off he couldn´t help but stare at her bare breasts. _

"_I want you to touch me." She whispered into his ear and once more took one of his hands to press it against her breast. Taken by surprise Simon gasped once before he started to move his fingers upon her small breast. His action made her smile and she bended down again to lock her lips with his. Slowly she started to make her way down to his pants again and with a quick move she opened them and lowered her body to feel his arousal through his boxers. _

_Her own needs growing higher she took hold of his shirt and tried to pull it off him. Simon lifted his upper body, broke the kiss and let her slip his shirt off his head. The needless peace of clothes was thrown down to the floor where her own shirt was lying. A look into his eyes told her that he wanted this as much as she wanted it. With all her might she pushed him back into the mattress and started to kiss him down from his neck to his abdomen, making him moan with passion. _

_She slid down till her lips where at the rim of his boxers and with both of her hands she grabbed his pants as well as his boxers and pulled them off. Simon carefully lifted his legs to help her removing the last clothes he wore and within a second he was lying there completely naked. Simon felt his cheeks heading up, he somehow felt ashamed of his own body. She was the first girl who ever saw him like this and he wasn´t sure if she liked it or not. Concerned he closed his eyes, maybe she was laughing at him. Maybe the guy she had slept with as she was fifteen had more to offer, maybe she….._

_His thoughts abruptly got interrupted as he felt her tongue playing with his member. In reflex he reached out and took hold of her hairs, digging his fingers in them. He didn´t think this feeling he had right now could get any better but dam, was he wrong. He once more gasped in surprise as her mouth covered his tip and she started to suck on it. Moaning Simon clawed his hands down into the mattress, he never felt that good. It was better than anything he ever dreamed of, better then other´s had told him. He simply felt like he was in heaven. Knowing that if she wouldn´t stop right now he would soon reach his climax he let go of her hair and put his hand under her chin and forced her to look up at him again. She looked at him with a smile as she recognized he was painting heavily. She brought herself back up to his face again and kissed him once more, playing around with his tongue. Simon gladly took the chance and pulled her own pants down, before he flipped her over so she was lying on her back again. With a shaking hand he let his fingers trail down her abdomen and carefully he let a finger slip inside her. He didn´t know if he was doing it right as he started to move his finger back and forth but as he heard her moan he knew that she enjoyed it. _

_He moved his finger a few times before he inserted his second finger and started to move faster and faster. Simon felt how she was tensing up and she pressed herself against his fingers to feel them deep inside her. A little bit surprised that he was doing it good he let his third finger slip inside her and started to move faster. She uncontrollable moaned under his touch and Simon could feel that she was just as aroused as he was. _

"_Simon, please." She whispered and Simon swallowed hard._

"_I need to tell you I never have…" Simon started but she laid a finger on his lips to make him shut up._

"_I know." She simply said and flipped over again to sit down on his waist. _

_She gently kissed him on the lips as she guided him to her entrance._

* * *

Ghost snapped out of his thoughts as he heard some weird noises from behind. He shook his head, the song had ended long ago and he still kept thinking about the first time he had sex. Back then he was just a clumsy yob who didn´t know what to do. It was a good thing that he had snapped out of his memory, it only reminded him of how much he missed her. He heard that weird noise again and turned around to find the initiator of it, only to see that Roach was standing next to the juke box with his upper body lowered. Ghost took a deep look and recognized that his teammate had thrown up right next to the juke box. Annoyed he stood up from his spot and approached the Sergeant. He laid a hand on his shoulder and Roach looked up at him with glossy eyes.

"Come on mate. I take you back to the hotel." Ghost told him and helped him to get out of the bar.

One last look to his Captain and his other teammates showed him that they all were really drunk and none of them had noticed what Roach just did. Supporting his friend with an arm laid about his shoulder Ghost told the bar keeper about the mess he had caused and gave him some extra money as compensation for it. Ghost led Roach to the front door and wanted to open it as someone came from the side and held the door open for them. Ghost turned his head and noticed it was her who helped him. He gave her a quick nod and disappeared with Roach out of the bar, feeling her eyes on him.

"Here you are little boozehound." Ghost said out of breath and threw the Sergeant onto his bed.

Immediately the young American curled up into a ball and began to snore loudly. Ghost once more shook his head and removed his mask as well as his sunglasses and put them down on his nightstand. With a sigh he sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. This was definitely not what he had planned. He wanted to be near her as long as he could and now he had to take care about his stubborn teammate. Ghost sat in this position for a while before he shook his head once more and laid himself down on his bed. Maybe it would be good if he would sleep.

Hearing a scratchy noise Ghost woke up and groaned as he realized his back was aching. Tired he rubbed his eyes and took a look at his watch. Eight o clock in the evening, he only had slept for two hours. Ghost yawned and lifted his upper body, why did he wake up? He still was tired as hell; sure he had his problems to find some sleep but if he falls asleep he would sleep till he´s totally relaxed. He turned his head towards Roach and recognized he was still sleeping. Ghost rested his head against the wall behind him as he heard that noise again. First he didn´t know what noise it was but as he heard a giggle followed by a deep moan, he knew that his Captain had come back and he wasn´t alone. Ghost smirked and got up from his bed, the Captain always got what he wanted.

Unsure what to do Ghost put his balaclava as well as his sunglasses back on, grabbed his keys, glanced one last time at Roach and left the room quietly. He left the small hotel they were staying in and walked through the busy streets of the city, only to recognize his feet were bringing him back to the bar he had left earlier. He leered through the window and examined every person in the bar only to see she wasn´t there anymore. Somehow disappointed he wanted to continue his way as he heard her voice in the distant. He turned his head to look into the direction the voice came from and saw her walking down the street, a co-worker at her side.

Curious where she was going he followed her in some distant, not wanting to get her attention. He felt like a Stalker but this was the only way he thought he could be near her. He passed some places he knew from his childhood and recognized that not much had changed in the last ten years. Abruptly he stopped as she and her friend slowed down and said goodbye to each other. Ghost waited till she started walking again and followed her again. He thought she would go back to her home but as she turned around a corner and walked down the street he wondered where she was going. Sure, she could have moved in the last years he hadn´t seen her but somehow he was sure that she still lived in her parents house. Maybe she was visiting her boyfriend? How this sounded. Her "Boyfriend". Ghost shook his head, why was he getting jealous out of the sudden? It´s not like he was still in love with her. He just wanted to see her again, see his first love.

He stopped once again and hid behind the nearest tree he had found. They were near the city park and he watched her step up to the only house that was on the other side of the road. Curious he watched her push the bell and shortly after that he saw a young man opening the door. Both talked a few words with each other and smiled. Ghost clenched his fists, why was she here? What did she want from that guy? Ghost watched him carefully; he had this stupid grin plastered on his face; long blond hair which were laying on the guys shoulder. His green eyes sparkled with every word he spoke and he was dressed like he was working in a bank. Ghost couldn´t believe why she spend her time with such an annoying man. She never would have looked at someone like that if he would still be here. Feeling anger rising up at him he wanted to beat this goofy smile out of his face.

Trying his best to calm down Ghost was about to turn around and leave the whole scene as his attention got caught by a young boy who was coming out of the house and gave her a hug. Ghost knitted his eye-brows and watched her saying goodbye to the man and together with the young boy she left the house and walked again. More curious then ever he continued to follow her and after five minutes of walking he watched them approach her parents' house. Ghost took cover around the corner of the house and leered to the door she and the boy were standing.

"Hey mum! Can I watch one more movie with Uncle Clay?" The young boy asked her as she looked for her keys in her bag.

"It´s really late you know." She answered him and pulled the keys out of her bag.

"I know but please!" The boy begged and jumped excited up and down.

"Okay okay. One more movie." She answered him with a smile.

"Thanks. You´re the best." The boy squealed and stormed into the house as she had unlocked the door.

"Take it easy Simon." She told him with a smile.

Ghost´s eyes grew wide, the boy was called Simon? And he was her son? What was the meaning of all this? How old was this boy? Eight maybe Nine years. What if the little one was his son? He shook his head this cannot be. She would have told him if she was pregnant. She would have tried to contact him. But what if she did? He never told her the base he was staying. He never contacted her, even if he was here. Ghost looked down to his feet, he didn´t want to know if he´s his son, he would be a terrible father. It would be the best for both of them if he wasn´t his father and if he was, it was a good thing to know the boy didn't know him. Ghost needed to get away from here, he couldn´t stay here, knowing that in this house was probably his son. He took a step back but didn´t see the small branch which was laying on the floor and so it broke with a hearable noise. Afraid that he might have caught her attention he pressed himself further to the wall and stopped breathing.

She heard a cracking and turned her head into the direction the noise came from. Was there someone standing around the corner? She was sure about that but she wouldn´t take a look. She knew who was watching her. She shook her head and breathed deeply, she wouldn´t mess this all up.

"Hey! You´re okay? You look like you´ve seen a Ghost." She turned her attention towards her brother who was standing in front of her and looked at her concerned.

She smiled at him and stepped into the house. "I think I really did."

For half an hour now he was sitting on the bench near the river and didn´t know what to do. He just stared into the night sky and listened to the music which was coming out of the club nearby. With a smile he remembered the night he told her he loved her. It was here just a few steps away from the bench he was sitting now. This memory made him smile once again but as he remembered the next thing he connected with this place made his smile fade and his heart sad. What if his whole life had been different? What if his dad wouldn´t have been such an arsehole? Would he now be in there with her and live a happy family life? He didn´t know. The only thing he knew for sure was that he broke her heart that day.

* * *

"_Why are we here Simon?" She asked him curious as he had dragged her down to the river._

"_There´s something I need to tell you." Simon said and looked around, unable to look her into the eyes._

"_Oh, what is it?" She asked him with a smile which soon faded away as she looked into his serious face._

"_What´s wrong Simon? Is it about your dad?" She kept on asking but he didn´t response._

"_Not again Simon. Talk to me dam, I thought we were talking about everything." She continued and crossed her arms. Why was it so difficult to talk to him? Why didn´t he just tell her what he wanted? _

_Upset she raised her arms into the air and rolled her eyes. Talking to a wall was easier than to talk to her boyfriend. This boy sometimes shut down so much that she needed all of her power to make him talk. Actually she wanted to tell him something very important. Something that would chance the life of both of them but now she wasn´t sure if it was the right time to tell him about it. Shaking her head she wanted to turn around and get away from him as he grabbed her shoulder and looked at her with a sad expression on his face._

"_I´m leaving tomorrow." He told her calmly,_

"_Leaving? Where are you going? I didn´t know you were going on a vacation." She said surprised about his statement. Why hadn´t he told her earlier that he would be gone for some days? Why didn´t he ask her to come with him._

_Simon slowly shook his head and closed his eyes. He felt a lump in his throat and it was hard for him to continue. He didn´t want to break her heart but maybe she would understand. Maybe she would see that this was the only chance for him to protect the people he loved. Maybe their love was strong enough to survive this. Maybe they could have a long-distance relationship. He took a deep breath as he continued._

"_No, I´m not going on a vacation. Look, tomorrow is my first day in the army." He replied and all his hopes that she would understand it washed away as she stepped back and looked at him with shock in her eyes._

"_Your what?" She stammered and immediately she felt the tears building up in her eyes._

"_Are you kidding me Simon? If you do it´s not very funny." She said and he shook his head._

"_No, I´m not kidding." He told her and looked down to his feet ashamed._

"_You can´t be serious Simon. You're leaving me? After all we had been through? Was this all just a waste of time for you? Did you just play tricks with me?" She yelled at him and couldn´t stop the tears that were escaping her eyes._

_Simon took a few steps into her direction and wanted to pull her into a hug but she slapped his hands away and stepped back._

"_I´m not doing this for myself. I do this to protect you and my family. I do this for our future." He frantically tried to calm her down but she just shook her head and yelled at him._

"_No Simon! You don´t do this for anyone else than yourself. What´s the point in leaving me to protect me? I need you here with me, on my side, not in some stupid base with some stupid soldiers, who think they could protect anything. You should know better than anyone else that your family will break apart if you leave them." _

"_That´s not true. I don´t want to end up like my father, I´m better than him, I do something for my family." Simon yelled back, frustrated that she didn´t understand why it was so important for him to leave._

"_You know what Simon? Maybe you´re right. Maybe that´s the only chance to protect your family. Maybe that is what you should do for the rest of your life. Maybe I´ll have a better life without you." _

"_You don´t mean what you´re saying." Simon replied to her, he didn´t want to believe her words._

"_You know what you´re right. I didn´t mean anything I said but what did you expect from me? To jump on you and tell you how happy I´m that you´re leaving me? You thought this would be so easy?"_

"_No, I knew it would be difficult but please give us a chance. Maybe we can make it work." Simon pleaded and stepped closer to her._

"_No Simon. I know how it will end, we´ll only break each other´s hearts. Believe me I swore to myself that I would fight for our love but I see that you already have given up." She told him and stepped back once more._

"_How could you say that? I haven´t given up the fight."_

"_Really? How long do you know that you´re joining the army? And you only tell it to me now, one day before you leave? If you really had believed in our love you would have told me earlier." She answered him and tried to whip her tears away which were coming out of her eyes._

_Simon stood in front of her and thought about her words. Was she right? Had he given up the fight? He wasn´t sure anymore. He was afraid of her reaction, afraid to lose her but deep inside he knew he didn´t tell her ´cause he didn´t believe that their relationship would have a future. Simon closed his eyes and thought about his next words. He knew he would break her heart but he had to say this to her, to help her to get over him. _

"_You´re wrong. I haven´t given up the fight how could I? I never fought for our love. The truth is I never really loved you. All I wanted to do was to fuck you and I did. Did you really believe I would love you? Come on, don´t be stupid." He stated his eyes still closed but he knew he had broken her heart._

_He heard her sob deeply. "You don´t mean what you say." She now said as she stared at him._

"_Don´t believe me?" Simon asked and reached up to his neck. "Here, I never wanted this." He threw the necklace she had given him to his eighteenth birthday in front of her and turned around._

"_I hope I never see you again." Were the last words he said to her before he left._

* * *

"The sky´s beautiful tonight isn´t it?" Ghost jumped lightly as he heard her voice.

He turned his head to the left and recognized that she had sat down next to him. He wondered what she was doing here. He stared at her and just nodded, he couldn´t talk to her. What if she would find out who he really was?

"You army guys really drink a lot." She continued and as an answer Ghost just nodded again.

"You´re not much of a talker are you?" Again he just nodded.

"Ghost right?" Another nod showed her she was right.

"What are you doing here all alone?" She asked again and Ghost knew he needed to say something, otherwise she would leave.

"Couldn´t sleep." He shortly answered and tried his best to sound confident but right now he felt very uncomfortable in his skin.

"Really? Tell me if I´m wrong but you were following me as I left the bar and picked my son up. Oh and you were the one who hid in my garden and waited till I entered my home." She told him with a smile and Ghost started to switch nervous. What should he tell her? For sure she thought he was a creepy Stalker. Maybe he should just stand up and walk away, what could she do to prevent this?

Taking one last look at her Ghost shot up from the bench, mumbled an apology and started to walk away. He had made a few steps as she called out to him.

"Wait!" He heard her scream but he just kept on walking. He didn´t want to talk to her right now, he didn´t want to stop, he didn´t….

"Hey! You´re really fast." She told him as she had approached him and stood in front of him breathing heavily.

"You´re okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yes, I´m fine." She replied and straightened herself to once more look at him.

Both of them stood there and looked at each other, unsure what to do, till her suddenly started to laugh and even he needed to smile under his mask. The whole situation was so unreal, like a dream. Ghost eased a bit as he heard her laugh and as he took a look at her he recognized the silver-necklace she was wearing. It was the necklace she gave him for his birthday, the necklace he threw to her as he left her. Why was she still wearing this? Did she still love him? After all this years? No, she probably only wore it to remember how he broke her heart. Her laughter died down and Ghost snapped out of his thought and was ready to leave. He nodded to her and wanted to go passed her as she flung her hands around his neck and whispered something in his ear.

Confused Ghost watched her walk away again and didn´t take his eyes off her once. He couldn't believe what she had told him. He couldn´t believe that she recognized him. After all this years they had been apart, after all he did to hide his face, and she knew that it was him? He shook his head, why was he still here? He was sure someday both of them would regret it but he needed to catch up with her.

Disappointed she turned around the corner, to head back home. She didn´t want to cry, she really tried hard but she couldn´t help. Her vision got blurry as the tears slipped out of her eyes. She couldn´t believe that he was here. She knew it from the first moment she saw him. Sure, he hid his face behind this ridiculous mask but she felt that it was him. She thought he had died years ago but he still was alive and he was here. He wanted to see her but she didn´t understand why he avoided to show her his face. Did he still feel guilty about the last words he said to her? Did he think she believed a single word he had said to her back then? She knew that he was lying, she knew he only said this to her to make it easier for her to forget him. She always knew that he loved her and so did she.

She soon would reach her house and more than ever she wished he would have followed her and just hold her in his arms but she wouldn´t blame him if he wouldn´t come. Not after what she just told him. She was just a few steps away from her garden door as someone grabbed her by her shoulder and turned her around. Surprised she shot her eyes wide open as she felt a pair of lips on her own. She smiled and closed her eyes, so he decided to follow her. In a reflex she flung her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. As he ended the kiss they locked eyes and kept each other close.

"I never stopped loving you." She whispered into his ear.

"I know." He answered and kissed her once more. "I feel the same but us can´t make it work."

"I understand." She replied and removed her hands from his neck. "It was nice meeting you again Simon."

She turned around and opened the garden door. "I think you should leave now." She said and turned around once more to meet with his eyes again.

"You know that I don´t want to go but I have to." Ghost told her and for the last time he reached out to her.

"Yes and I don't want you to but that´s the life you choose. Maybe someday when you´re ready to meet him you´ll come back. He would love to get to know you."

"He knows about me?" Ghost asked with an eye-brow raised.

"Yes, of course." She said and smiled.

"Good." He simply replied and kissed her one last time.

Heavy hearted they parted away and she slowly stepped up the stairs. She took one last look back, only to see he already disappeared. Sighing she stepped into her house and closed the door. She went upstairs and stepped into her son's bedroom. Quiet she sat by his bedside and ruffled his hair, before she kissed his forehead and stepped up to his window to see how Simon stood on the corner and looked up at her. She couldn´t help as a single tear slipped out of her eye as he walked away.

"I wished you would have seen your son." She whispered and left the room.


End file.
